Broken
by SASandJRtheOver-Editors
Summary: Rouge tossed and turned as violent memories ran through her mind, trying to keep her spirit broken. She could remembered the green light of death, and the red light light that brought the pain of a thousand knives piercing her every being. She remembered the torture, and the day she started becoming Rouge, the day she lost it all. By SAS
1. Prologue

**_Prologue_**

Rouge tossed and turned as violent memories ran through her mind, trying to keep her spirit broken. She could remembered the green light of death, and the red light light that brought the pain of a thousand knives piercing her every being. She remembered the torture, and the day she started becoming Rouge, the day she lost it all.

_"Ron. She whispered hoarsely, her throat worn from the screaming she had done. Their tormenters had left for now, but they could be back at any moment. _

_"'Hey," Her pseudo-brother's voice was more rough than even hers, having been tormented longer even than she. "I'm dying." He whispered with absolute certainty. Her world came crashing down on her in that moment, and she knew that she couldn't live if her brother kept suffering as he was. "It hurts."_

_"I know." Her voice grew more ragged as tears threatened to fall._

_"Make it stop." Ron knew she could, and she knew he knew that. "Please, let me die peacefully. Don't let them torture me anymore." His breath was laborious, each breath hurting him more, adding to his already considerable pain. _

_Shaking, she offered Ron her hand, starting to sob. "I love you Ron. Don't forget."_

_"I won't. You're my sister. Take care of Harry for me would you?" Her brother managed a smile as she _pulled_, taking Ron's life and memories as fast as she could. As Ron's life passed before his eyes, his last words rang in her ears. "Take care of Lavender." _

_Ron's eyes dulled, taking on a glassy appearance, and his hand fell limp. Hermione fell over him, sobbing, crying a keening wail at his loss. _


	2. Memories

**_Chapter 1_**

**_Memories_**

Rouge woke with a start, forcing the memories back behind her shields into the recesses of her mind. Glancing at her roommate, she was relieved to see that Kitty was still asleep. In some ways, seeing Kitty hurt. She was so much like Lavender, but different at the same time. It just reminded the cursed mutant how far from home she was. Slipping out of bed, Rouge made her way down the stairs of the Xavier Institute and to the edge of the cliffs it stood on. Throwing herself off them, she held out her hand and waited. A broom shot into it and she mounted midair, flying into a cave she had found and magically hidden the day she arrived in Bayville.

She went straight to the pensieve sitting on a pedestal in the corner, before re-living the rest of her terrible memory.

_Bellatrix Lestrange entered to find a sobbing Hermione lying over Ron's body. "Well, looks like now it's just you and me, Mudblood." She sneered. She cast a crucio on Hermione, and watched gleefully as she twitched and screamed. A torture session later, Hermione was close to the state Ron had been in. It was at that point that Bellatrix ruined her life forever._

_"Well this won't do." Bella cackled. She forced a vial of silvery blood down Hermione's throat. _Unicorn blood, _her mind told her. Instantly, Hermione could feel the curse set into her soul, though her body started healing itself. _

When Harry had rescued her a day later, Hermione had hoped she would be able to beat the curse. Alas, a year later, Hermione's powers began to run out of control, going as far as to zap Severus without meaning to. That was when she packed up and left. She couldn't bear to leave _his_ ring though. It and her wand had made the trip with her to America, and when she had successfully modified Mystique's memory to convince her that she had raised Hermione, or well, _Anna Marie D'Ancanto_, since age four, Severus sent the rest of her things to her in an undetectably expanded bag, and she kept in touch only with him, although he only knew that she was in America, not where she was or what name she was going by. She took a shuddering breath to calm herself, and went to the desk in the corner.

_Dear Severus, _

_ I hope this letter finds you well. I find myself still haunted by the curse inflicted upon me by Bellatrix, and miss you all terribly. How is Harry? I find that after all these two years, I still cannot bring myself to even take off his ring. Severus, please take care of him, for it wold break my heart if something happened to him. I pray one day we might find a cure. _

_Love,_

_ Hermione_

Hermione attached the letter to the leg of her owl, Aime, and sent it across the pond to be read by a man that had become like a father to her. Taking her wand, she removed her glamour for a few minutes to look at herself in the mirror. It had been so long since she'd seen her true self. It hurt to see her true persona, but she needed to see it at the same. Eventually, it was too much, and she restored the visage of 'Rouge' before meditating. Her occlumency barriers were large and impressive. All her unimportant thoughts and those that fit her Rouge persona floated around in the first area. Then there was a wall that required a password to open, and when it did, it revealed rooms locked and needing their own password to view. Each contained the memories of people she'd absorbed, and memories on how to use their powers. The largest door contained her memories of her life as Hermione Granger. Tonight, she focused on pulling the powers she gained from people away from their memories. She couldn't use them again until she had taken them and separated them from the person they belonged to, and incorporated them into herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~LINE BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later, Rouge stood up and closed her mind, making sure everything was locked up once again. She had unleashed Kitty's powers, and was looking forward to having them to call on in an emergency. Exhausted, Rouge climbed up the mountain and made her way back to her room, gliding through walls and alarms with Kitty's intangibility. When she collapsed in bed, she slept the last few hours of the night without memories or dreams, and woke to Kitty shaking her.

"Hmmm?" Rouge stretched her back, popping it in several places.

"It's time for breakfast. I saved you some so you didn't need to fight everyone to get something." Rouge smiled softly at her friend.

"Thanks." She drawled.

"Then we're going shopping." Kitty reminded Rouge of her promise.

"Fahn (Fine)." Rouge dressed, ate the food Kitty had brought, and reluctantly got in the car. An hour later, they were at the mall, Rouge unhappily sporting bags of clothes. Hermione would have worn them, but Rouge wouldn't.

"Rouge!" A voice from behind her called. Only three people had ever seen her in this persona; when she was sneaking around, this had been her disguise. Only Luna, Harry and...

"Neville."


	3. Someone I Used To Kow

**_Chapter 2_**

**_Someone I Used to Know_**

_ "Neville."_ She said, slowly backing away. He was having none of it. Kitty had come closer in interest, and to keep from being found out, she reluctantly followed Neville.

"Hello, Neville." She whispered, not bothering to keep the drawl.

"You do know you're killing him, right?" Neville said forcefully. Hermione blinked back tears.

"I can't help it." She whispered. Neville made to grab her, and she flinched away. "Don't touch me." Neville pulled away hurt. "I'll hurt you." She continued. "My powers are out of control. I can't control them. Neville, Bellatrix cursed me for life."

She hated the understanding look on his face. "What was it? Maybe I can help." He offered. Neville was the other boy that had been like a brother to her.

"Neville, she forced me to drink blood. Unicorn blood. I can't make Harry suffer for my half-life. One day, someone will put him together and fix him. I love him too much to let him destroy himself because of me." She broke down, and hardly noticed Neville put up a notice-me-not spell before he took her into his arms.

"Hermione." The sound of her name was all it took to break her completely. Her sobs were loud and forceful, and Neville quickly put up a silencing spell as well.

"Neville, it's killing me! I can't do this. Some days, I wish I had died, rather than live like this. I wish I had died with Ron!"

She took off her glamours, and forced Neville to look at her many scars. "More than half of these could have killed me before I was even rescued if not for the blood." She forced him to realize. "I should have died. It saved me from the brink of death." She straightened and cleaned herself up, re-instating her glamour.

"Hermione." Neville started.

"My name is Rouge now," Hermione replied forcefully, "and it will stay that way until I manage to be freed from my curse. I refuse to hurt Harry with my curse. Please don't tell him where I am. If you really want to help with a cure, talk to Severus." She turned and left the perimeter of his charms, returning to Kitty.

"Who was that?'

"Just someone I used to know."


	4. While Lily

**_Chapter 3_**

**_White Lily_**

As Hermione tried to sleep that night, she was haunted by her thoughts, rather than old memories. Neville's words rang around in her head. _I'm killing him staying away, but it would kill him to be with me now._ She was in anguish from her choices. She shrieked when she felt the tingling start, and breathed a sigh of relief when Kitty didn't stir. A white lily was slowly forming on her wrist, and her fingers stopped tingling. It had been so long. Her control was slowly trying to re-assert itself, although it had tried in the past and never gotten past her fingers. She knew better than to try and push it further this time. She got up and made her way out of her room. although she had not fallen asleep, she felt oddly rested, and it was almost time to get up anyways.

Logan was making rounds as she found her way downstairs. "Rouge." He said roughly. "Whatcha doing up so early?" Rouge studied him quietly.

"Ah just cahdn't sleep (I just couldn't sleep)." He ad looked familiar for so long, and only now, with her mind on Harry, could she place it. He looked like an older, grizzled version of James Potter. Reaching with just a tendril of magic, she recoiled when she felt it come back positive. This was James Potter.

"Logan, why are ya (you) so determined to get yoh (your) memories back? What if thah (they) hurt?" She inquired, unable to keep from asking.

"I'm sure they will hurt. I'll probably remember men I've killed, and people I've lost, but I need to know. What if there's someone important to me, and I can't remember them? What then? It's important to me to remember. Why Rouge?"

Rouge nodded, understanding. "Ah've been sortin my memories." She said softly. "Ah (I) was in yohs (yours) and ah saw a redhead call yah James. She said... 'Jahms, (James) Petah's (Peter's) betrayed us...' Yah yelled back... 'Lily, take Harry and run. Ah'll hold him off.' That was all theyar (there) was of thah (that) memory." She paused. "Ah don't know what that means, but ah hope thah helps yah." Turning, Rouge left a conflicted Wolverine standing there, repeating the conversation to himself.

Rouge got breakfast, and waited, praying the tingling would return, bringing more control. It did, and soon her other hand was as under control as her right was. She tucked her gloves in her pocket, but left them off for now, and wore Harry's ring. Grabbing her backpack, she quietly left, hoping her luck would hold through the day. School went well, and only Kurt, who believed he was her brother, despite her many urgings to the negative, and Kitty, who was careful to avoid her hands, although she was as exuberant as ever, noticed her lack of gloves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~LINE BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they got back to the institute, Wolverine was pacing rapidly, muttering to himself. "Mr. Logan?" Kitty asked quietly. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, half-pint. I'm just... remembering." Hermione was glad she could help someone in her current condition.

"Thank you, Rouge. I have..." Wolverine paused, his face full of wonder. "I have a son. Harry James Potter. His mother was Lily, a beautiful and fiery woman, while I was... My name is James Potter. Lily is... Lily is dead, but her son isn't." He turned and embraced her quickly, before hugging Kitty and rushing away. "I've got to find him!"

Rouge smiled sadly, watching him go. _I love you, Harry. Be happy._ She waved goodbye to James, and turned to Kitty. Kitty was looking at Logan's back apprehensively.

"When he finds his son, will he still come back to us? He's been like a father to me. My parents kinda disowned me when I became a mutant. He's the closest thing to a father I have." Kitty said quietly.

Hermione felt a surge of understanding. "Ah know, Kitty. Ah know. He'all (He'll) come back to us." She reassured her friend quietly.

Wolverine came back at that moment. "Kitty, when I bring Harry back, will you and Rouge take Harry under your wings?" Rouge could only nod, dry mouthed, while Kitty squealed and started making plans immediately to introduce him to Lance. Hermione could only feel a sinking in her stomach. In making Harry happy, helping him achieve his dream of a family, she'd led him straight to her. Soon, she would be forced to face him, knowing she was in love with him, and also knowing she could never make him happy as long as her powers were cursed. She nodded half-heartedly at whatever Kitty was saying as she considered running again. She hated to do it, but she couldn't face him.

"Rouge are you okay?" Kitty asked worriedly.

"Ahm fahn. Ah jes remembahed (remembered) somethang (something)." She said as quietly as possible, before leaving and making her way to her room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~LINE BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Rouge? Why are you leaving?" Kitty's voice came from the doorway, startling Rouge out of her furious packing.

"Kitty." Hermione sighed, allowing her glamours to fall. "My name is not Rouge. It is Hermione Granger, and Harry Potter was my fiance. I had perfect control of my powers. The only reason I am even telling this is because you fall into a loophole in our laws. Kitty, there's a whole group of beings out there with magic, and I'm one of them. We had a war, and I was cursed. It took away all the control I had. I ran, modified Mystique's memory to believe she'd raised me, and I kept myself hidden. I couldn't make him happy. The only thing he ever wanted was a family, which I can't give him if my powers are out of control. I can't do that to him. I love him too much to make him choose, so I'm making the hard choice." She started sobbing. Kitty sat stunned at the radical change at first, but quickly brought the sobbing Brit into her arms.

"I'm going to leave, and when I finally find a cure, I'll come back and visit." Hermione sobbed. "I always thought of you as a sister." She cast a few spells to finish packing, and refreshed her glamour.

"Can I come with you, or at least write to you?" Hermione shook a tearful face.

"Kitty, now that you know who I really am, you can't write, and I can't take you from the institute. They're your family. I'm going back undercover, somewhere new. Severus and Neville are working on a cure. If they go looking for me, then tell them what happened. Severus should be able to track me down."

She smiled sadly as Kitty hugged her again. "Will you come with me me to a cave where I stashed all my magic things?" Kitty nodded, and and a trip later, Kitty ran to her room, crying, while Rouge told the professor she was leaving, and to not look for her no matter what. He didn't take it well, but was unable to make her stay.


	5. Jaded Eyes

**_Chapter 4_**

**_Jaded Eyes_**

When Harry arrived at the institute and his newly found father, he was thrilled. He almost forgot his grief about losing _her_ for a minute. Well, until he found a girl crying, saw his father grieve because a member had left their numbers, and a picture proved this was his very own Hermione. She would remain his fiance until she gave the ring back. Harry guessed that something bad had happened to make her run, but not be willing to see him. After all, they were best friends. After a lot of coaxing, he found out from Kitty that Hermione had been cursed into losing all control of her powers, and therefore left so he could have the family he dreamed of.

It was like a stab to his heart, and he regressed into a shadow of himself for a good while, almost three months, before he was able to be drawn out of it. His father joined him. Having just remembered, he was left with a deep mourning for Lily, as he explained how he was alive.

"I was wearing my family time turner. The Avada Kedavra hit it head on, and sent me back instead of killing me. My body mutated to stand the power of the time portal, and... well... I was about to go warn us about what would happen, time traveling ruled forgotten, when I was captured and experimented on by Striker. I remembered nothing when I next awoke."

~~~~~~~~~~~~LINE BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione had unlocked Mystique's shapeshifting, and was using it instead of glamours. She was now blonde, busty, tall, and older. Posing as twenty-five year old Farrah Deirdre, meaning bitter woman, she went to college, and kept herself separate from everyone. Soon she had unlocked all the powers she had thus far absorbed, although she only used them when necessary. it hurt, knowing she had to stay apart from everyone, but she figured it was her penance for hurting so many people through her actions and killing those she had killed during the war. Now, she was sitting on a bench, thinking bout her life, wondering what she should do.

"He really did a number on you, didn't he?" An older woman, perhaps thirty five or so, had seated herself next to Hermione.

"What?" She asked, startled.

"You've got that love sick, heartbroken look. It's in the eyes." She said softly.

"Oh. No, I broke him..." She said sadly. "He was an orphan, and his relatives were the worst sort. The thing he wanted more than anything was a family, and we loved each other." She said wistfully.

"Sounds pretty good." The woman said. "Why would you break it off?"

"He wanted children, and I can't have them. It wouldn't be fair to him to make him choose, because he's too chivalrous to break it off with me. It's just that I love him so much all I want is for him to be happy, even if it means he marries someone else."

The woman '_hmmed'_ a bit, and nodded once or twice in accordance to whatever thoughts were running through her mind.

"Was it right to take his choice from him?"

"Probably not," Hermione admitted, "but I love him too much to let him ruin his dreams for me."She studied the woman who had spoken to her. Brunette hair with grey in it already, and jaded blue eyes told Hermione that life had been hard for this woman.

"Well, if you cannot go back to him, just remember that although it seems hard, someday, you will grow stronger. Anything that comes down on you and doesn't break your spirit can be used to grow stronger, and help you realize the sun will rise again."

"Thank you." She said quietly. "My name is Farrah Deirdre, and you've helped a lot."

"My name is Adira Lon."

"Hello, Adira. What's your story?"

"I'm a mutant." She admitted brazenly. "I won't back down from that. Life has taught me that much. When my mutation manifested, I lost my job, my parents disowned me, and my husband divorced me and convinced the judge a mutant was not a fit mother. I am not even allowed to see my kids anymore. Life had been hard on me."

Hermione relaxed immediately. "I'm a mutant too. My mutation won't allow me to have skin-to-skin contact with any human being. He was accepting, but I had it under control then. My powers grew, and my control was lost. I can't ruin his life because of this. My friends that are mutants, they don't have a curse, but an enhancement. Mine is a curse." She admitted self-consciously.

Her new friend immediately softened her eyes even more. "Oh, Farrah. Somewhere, your curse will be turned to a gift. It just hasn't happened yet. Hold on. One day, you'll be fine."Adira got up, and left quietly, padding away towards a near bus stop.

"Thank you." Hermione whispered as the strange woman left. She would take her advice. She would beat this, and she would grow stronger for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~LINE BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neville was exhausted. He and Severus Snape had been pouring over texts and trying equations for the last five months, searching for the cure that would bring happiness to his pseudo sister and his god brother. Across from him, Snape had actually fallen asleep, a testament to their exhaustion. He looked down at the next page, and read furiously to double check. It had been here all along. He could save Hermione!

"Severus!" He snapped to wake the man up.

"What is it, Mr. Longbottom?" Snape had woken up. Neville pushed the text over to him as an answer.

"Amazing!" He breathed. "Go sleep, Neville. Tomorrow we will start brewing. I will need you to get a few herbology ingredients only a Master Herbologist like you could get in any timely fashion." Neville nodded and turned to find his room in Severus's house. It had been the best place,and their worry over Hermione had allowed the two to work together well, despite their difference in the past. Only one thing bothered Neville. The potion would take a year to brew.


	6. Becoming Hermione

**_Chapter 5_**

**_Becoming Hermione_**

**_One year later_**

Farrah tossed her mail onto her counter and sighed. She had been working hard at her new job, a charms tutor for a school in her town, Goblinstown, Virginia, while she was attending muggle college. She paused as she spotted Amira perched on her desk with a letter. Even from this distance, Hermione could recognize Severus's handwriting. She opened it in a hurry, and gasped at it's contents.

_Hermione, _

_ Neville and I have not contacted you since you ran into Mr. Longbottom in our wish to not give you vain hope, however since you are receiving this letter, you may safely conclude that we have successfully found and made a cure for you. My dear, please meet me at Xavier's institute for the Gifted on Tuesday, September 21, at around 2:00 for your cure. I wish you all happiness._

_Sincerely, _

_ Severus Snape_

Flustered, Hermione looked at the calendar to make sure. It was Monday, September 20, and it was almost eleven at night. She needed to pack!

Hurriedly, she packed with her magic while she paced back and forth. She could go, and be cured, being forced to face Harry, or she could live with this curse the rest of her life, but never have to see Harry again. She chose the first option, and quickly wrote a note to her students, saying something had come up and they needed to find a new tutor. She also called her college and dropped out. Hermione Granger was about to resurface after almost three and a half years of hiding from her world. She apparated to a hotel in Bayville and shifted into her Rouge guise. Then she checked in, and slept for a while. When she woke, she ate, and discovered she had a half hour until she was to meet Severus. She chose to head to the institute early.

"She's here!" Kitty had spotted her first and thrown herself into Rouge's arms, hugging her tightly.

"Hey." Hermione said with a soft smile. Only Kitty, James, and Harry knew Rouge was Hermione, so those near were on guard when they heard the British accent come from Rouge's body. At that moment, Severus and Neville apparated next to them, Severus holding a vial of something ice blue.

"The cure." He said simply.

"NO!" Bobby cried. "Rouge, you don't need to forfeit your powers!" He said emphatically. Hermione now recalled that the government had created a 'cure' for mutations. She smiled at Bobby and took the potion, downing it in a gulp.

"Really, Severus, it didn't need to taste so bad." She said with a wry face, as she shifted to her first form, Hermione Granger. She felt the tingling come back to her body, increasing as a white lily appeared on her neck. Shaking, she raised a hand to tough Neville's.

Nothing happened, and she threw herself into Severus's arms.

"Thank you so much!" She shrieked, and then she turned and bear hugged Neville the same way. It was a Hermione hug from before the war.

"Hermione." She froze and turned around slowly.

"Harry." She was terrified and shaking. Harry noticed her shakes and pulled her into his arms.

"You're shaking. Why are you afraid, 'Moine?" You know I will never love anyone else." He leaned down and gave her a searing kiss that made her toes curl.

"Harry." She murmured quietly when they broke apart.

"What?" He smiled that smile that turned her into goo.

"I love you." He leaned down to kiss her again when a throat cleared.

"Okay, is anyone else confused here?" Bobby said loudly. Most of the institute that was witnessing this nodded.

"Rouge doesn't exist. She was a person I had created, and I modified Mystique's memory to make her real. In reality, I had been cursed and lost all control of my powers, so I ran, trying to make Harry choose someone else who could give him the family he wanted. Meanwhile, Severus and Neville were creating a cure, not for my powers, but for the curse that had taken my control." She gestured to the lily on her neck. "I currently have full control.

Harry kissed her again. "Well, my rouge, shall we go find Fred and george first, or have an on the spot wedding, because as far as I am concerned, you and I are still engaged, and I've been ready for this wedding for years.

Hermione grinned. "Can we wait a month so I can get everyone to the wedding, and in the meantime, we can introduce the muggle mutants to a new world where they're revered?" She said quickly.

"Of course. Whatever you want." He kissed her cheek, and James, the Wolverine came up to her.

"Rouge... Hermione... whatever. You hurt my son again, and I won't be afraid to slice you to ribbons."He threatened.

"Sure, Wolverine. And by the way, it's Hermione."


End file.
